Build an Alter Ego and Change Your Life
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Do you often try to implement new habits, but you always seem to fail? Would you like to level up your life, but you can’t find the courage to do so? If that is the case, an alter ego could be what you need to bridge the gap between your current self and your desired self. In this article, we will explore what an alter ego is, the science behind the effectiveness of using an alter ego in our life, and we will conclude by outlining a step-by-step guide for you to create your own alter ego.
What is an alter ego and why you might need one?
An alter ego is a tool that allows you adopt the traits, behaviours and demeanour of a persona that excel in particular area of life. It allows you to set aside your usual mindset and behaviours, whilst adopting those of your alter ego instead.
James Clear in his book “Atomic Habits” explains how habits are linked to identity. For example, if you start running five times a week, you might start perceiving yourself as a runner, which will make it more likely that you will stick to the habit. Your habits would therefore lead to an identity shift.
However, we often find ourselves unable to implement new habits or new activities because of limiting belief we might hold about ourselves. In my article on the Pygmalion effect, I described how believing something about us, can make us act in ways that confirm that belief. That happens because changing our mindset requires our neurons to rewire – and this is something that they try to resist. Therefore, we will behave in ways that create a reality in which the status quo is maintained. As a result of this, we might encounter the danger of remaining stagnant and unable to grow.
If we believe that we are not able to work out 5 times a week, we might self-sabotage, and even if we start working out, after a while we might lose interest in it, and go back to our old behaviours.
An alter ego can help prevent this. By developing an alter ego, embodying the person you want to be, you can unleash traits, abilities, and strengths you already possess, but that you haven’t harnessed. In fact, an alter ego does not mean faking to be someone you are not, but it means to find the courage to act like the person you already are but are too afraid to show to world. For this reason, an alter ego can improve many aspects of your life, including health, wellness, and overall lifestyle.
The science behind the benefits of creating an alter ego
In 2017, White et al. conducted an experiment known as “The Batman Effect”. They asked 139 children aged 4-6 to open a box containing a toy, by using a set of keys. They had 10 minutes to complete the task, and they were given options to take breaks to play a video game. Unbeknownst to the children, none of the keys would open the box.
Throughout the task, children were instructed to think about their thoughts and feelings from different perspective.
The self-immersed group used first person speech (“How am I am feeling?”)
The third person group was asked to report their thoughts and feelings from a third-person perspective (“How is [child name] feeling?”)
The exemplar group was asked to describe their thoughts and feelings as if they were their favour media character (e.g. Batman, Dora the explorer, Rapunzel etc). They were also given a prop to help them get into character (e.g. a cape).
The study found that the children who spent the most time working on the task and that reported less frustration were those who impersonated an exemplar character, followed by those who took a third person perspective. The self-immersed group performed the worst.
What this study show is that an alter ego can create psychological distance between us and what we need to do, by helping us acting like the person we want to be. This process allows us to be free from limiting beliefs.
How to create an alter ego
Step 1. Analyse your current situation
The first step in to build your alter ego is to identify what changes you want to make. Take some time to think, about what is it that you want to achieve. Do you want to be healthier? More productive? More present for your loved ones? When setting goals, make sure that they follow the SMART method (i.e. your goals need to be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-Bound).
Also think about what is holding you back. What are your limiting beliefs? Are there any negative experiences from your past that make you afraid to do what it takes to achieve your goals in the present? Understanding how your fears were originated can give you more knowledge about what you need to do to overcome them.
Step 2. Decide how you want to create your alter ego
When creating an alter ego, you can decide to either create one persona that you can use in different situations, or multiple alter egos for each area of your life you want to improve.
At this stage you will also need to deice whether you want to create a persona from scratch, or whether you want to use already existing real life or fictional characters as your alter ego.
Step 3. Determine your alter ego’s characteristics
This is when the fun start. In this step, you are crafting your alter ego. What are their traits? How to they carry themselves? What do they do? How did they develop these characteristics in the first place? Also, build a strong connection with your alter ego, by giving it a name that is meaningful to you.
Step 4. Choose a trigger
A trigger is an action, a prom or a situation that activates your alter ego. You could choose a significant object or an accessory that reminds you to start acting like your alter ego.
Eric Partaker in his book “The Three Alarms” suggests setting three alarms that activates at different times of the day that remind you to behave like three different persona, prompting you to improve the areas of your life concerning health, work, and relationships.
Step 5. Practice your alter ego
In this step, we are starting to unleash our alter ego to the world. My advice here is not to use your alter ego for the first time in intense situations, like a public speech or a job interview. Instead, start with low pressure activities, like going for a walk or going for a meal out. Once you feel confident enough, you can gradually use your alter ego in more challenging environments.
Step 6. Merge with your alter ego
This step is optional and does not actually require any action from you. In fact, over time you might notice that you are starting to adopt you alter ego’s traits and quality, and that you don’t need a trigger anymore. Eventually you will start merging with your alter ego.
Conclusion
Creating a alter ego can bridge the gap between your current self and your desired self. It can help you unleash traits, abilities, and strengths that you already possess but that you are too afraid to show to the world. By creating al alter ego in the way that resonate with you the most, you can become the best version of yourself until you don’t need an alter ego anymore.
References
the three alarms by eric partaker https://www.amazon.co.uk/Alarms-Simpl...
atomic habits by james https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits