How To Fight Your Fears
What would you do if you weren’t afraid? Would you finally take that long-overdue trip? Would you quit your job and start your own business? Imagine how much better your life would be if only you weren’t afraid.
Fear is a normal part of life, but sometimes it can hold us back. As a pre-qualified psychologist, I’ve spent years studying fear through university lecture. In my job I’ve also learnt to help people overcome fear through therapy techniques. For this reason, I have decided to break down fear in this article, explaining what it is, why we experience it, and, most importantly, how to manage it.
What Is Fear?
Fear is, simply, an emotion. Contrary to popular belief, fear isn’t inherently bad; actually it is very helpful. Fear is a survival mechanism that helped our ancestors navigate danger, such as wild animals or threatening situations.
In modern times, our lives are not generally spent in danger. Despite this, our brains still respond to challenges - both good and bad - with the Saer fear mechanism. This is why we might experience fear, even in situations that aren’t life threatening.
The brain’s amygdala plays a central role in the fear response. When the amygdala detects a potential danger, it signals the autonomic nervous system to release adrenaline and cortisol. This activates a “fight or flight” response in the body, which prepare us for physical actions. While helpful in situations of actual danger, this response can become problematic when triggered unnecessarily, such as during public speaking or when taking a flight for a trip.
understanding the roots of fear
Not all fears are the same, and they don’t affect everyone equally. There are two psychological theories that could help us understand the reason for this, and that offer different perspectives on why fear develops.
Psychoanalytic Theory: according to psychoanalytic theory, fear may symbolise deeper psychological struggles. For example, a fear of flying could reflect a fear of losing control.
Classical Conditioning: according to this theory, fear could be a learned response to traumatic events. For example, the experiment of Little Albert (1920), showed how a child who was exposed to loud noise while seeing a rat, developed a life long fear of rodents.
Understanding your fear’s origin can help you address it effectively. Whether it stems from past trauma or a symbolic representation of deeper issues, self-awareness is the key.
a step-by-step guide to overcoming fear
Now that we understand fear betters let’s explore actionable steps to overcome it.
Name your fear
Identify what you’re afraid of. Being clear about your fear is the first step to overcoming it. And try to get to the root of your fear. For example, if you’re afraid of starting a business, think about what aspect of it actually scares you - is it fear of failure, judgement or financial loss?
Trace its origin
Once you have identified your fear, reflect on where it comes from. Did a specific event trigger it? For example, a fear of dogs, might stem from being bitten as a child. Fear of failure may come from being raised in a high-expectations family. Understanding the root of your fear, can cause valuable insights into how to address it.
Challenge your thoughts
Each one of us possess “phobic thoughts”, that are irrational beliefs about our fears. For instance, if you’re afraid of taking a flight, you might believe that it is very likely that your flight might crash. Write down your phobic thoughts and challenge them (by, for example, reminding yourself that only one in 1.000.000.000 flights actually crash).
List the best and the worst outcomes
What’s the worst that could happen if you face your fear? Often, these worst case scenarios are unrealistic or manageable. contrast this with the best outcomes. For example, facing your fear of flying could open up a world of travel opportunities.
Consider the cost of inaction
Think about what you’ll lose if you let fear control you. Inaction has a cost, whether it’s missed experiences, unachieved goals, or a less fulfilling life. When considering the cost of inaction, think about the short, medium and long term. Missing one trip because of a fear of flying might seem nothing in the short term.
Learn about your fear
Knowledge is power. The more you understand your fear, the less intimidating it becomes. For example, learning how planes work and why they’re safe can reduce a fear of flying. Mastering a skill can also help. For example, practicing speaking techniques can ease anxiety about public speaking over time.
Gradual exposure
Face your fear in small, manageable steps. If you’re afraid of flying, start with a short flight. Gradual exposure build confidence and helps desensitise you to your fear.
Practice coping skills
If when facing your fear, you start to feel uncomfortable, think about practicing coping strategies to stay calm. Here are a few:
Box breathing: breath in for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, and hold again for 4 seconds. Repeat this 10 times to regulate your breathing.
Visualisation: picture yourself successfully overcoming your fear. If you’re afraid of flying, and you start getting nervous on your flight, try visualising yourself having an amazing time at your desired destination.
Seek support: facing your fear with a loved one who is calm and confident can make the process easier. This technique is known as “modelling” in therapy and consists in observing someone facing your fear calmly, so that you can model that behaviour.
Repetition
In neuroscience there’s a say: “neurones that fire together, wire together”. This means that the more you do something, the better you will become at it. The more you face your fear, the easier it become. Remember that this is a process of continuous learning: the second you stop expanding your comfort zone you might go back to being afraid.
conclusion
By understanding the origin of your dear, challenging your thoughts and taking gradual steps to face it, you can overcome your fear and start living the life you deserve. Remember, it’s not about eliminating fear entirely, but it is about learning to live with it, without letting it hold you back.