Managing Negative Emotions with the Chinese Trap
The Chinese finger trap consists of a hollow, woven tube typically made from bamboo or other flexible material. If you're caught in a Chinese trap, the more you struggle against it, the tighter its grips becomes. You can't force your way out. Instead, you have to gently push inward and let go.
In this post, we will discuss how we can apply the Chinese trap analogy to our mental traps of negativity, to get rid of negative thoughts and feelings.
Just like in a Chinese trap, the first step to freedom is to acknowledge that we are, in fact, trapped. Similarly, in order to get rid of negative thoughts and feelings, the first step is to recognise which emotion or thought we are experiencing.
In fact, labelling our emotions is not always easy. Sometimes, what we think is anger, might actually be frustration. Or what feels like sadness could actually be nostalgia creeping in. Strengthening our emotional vocabulary, and giving a name to our emotions can be very helpful in understanding what is actually going on for us.
In order to get out of a Chinese trap, we can't just try to get away from it, or we would get even more stuck. Similarly resisting negative thoughts or emotions often backfires, making them even more overwhelming. Instead, we need to make peace with our feelings, embracing them without judgements. It's like when we struggle to sleep, and the more we try to fall asleep, the more we stay awake. The solution is then to accept that we can't sleep, get out of bed and do something relaxing. Acceptance allows us to view out emotions from a neutral standpoint, understanding that they're fleeting visitors.
Once we have realised and accepted that we are in a trap, it will be so much easier to break free from it. Similarly, once we have recognised and accepted our emotions and negative thoughts, by looking at them in a neutral way, it would be so much easier to let go.
In conclusion, the Chinese Trap teaches us the importance of observing our thoughts and emotions with detachment and acceptance, rather than getting entangled or being overwhelmed by them. By doing this, it will be so much easier to let go of them.
References
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1077722909000911