5 Lessons from Gilmore Girls
It seems like coming fall, everybody starts taking about Gilmore Girls. So, last fall I have decided to give it a go, and it quickly became my favourite TV show of all times. I just love TV shows that simply talk about life. And this is what Gilmore Girls is about. Life. But apart from being a series that kept me company, Gilmore Girls also taught me valuable lessons about life, career and relationships. I have decided to share these with you.
Lesson 1. There really is no perfect parenting
Gilmore Girls showcases two different parenting styles at the extremes, but none of them is necessarily “the perfect one”. On one end, we have Emily and Richard Gilmore with their rigid expectations, which create a rebellious daughter. On the other, Lorelai's best-friend approach with Rory, often left her child without necessary boundaries.
Whilst the truth lies somewhere in the middle, and children need both structure and freedom to thrive, this balance can often be hard to achieve. The reality is that everything a parent does can have both positive and negative consequences.
So, the perfect parent does not exist, but maybe it is not even necessary. At the end of the day what children need the most is love and someone that shows up consistently and that is willing to evolve as they do.
Lesson 2. Experiencing failure is a necessary part of life
In Stars Hollow, Rory was a gifted kid, considered exceptional by everyone. She never really experienced failure, and the people around her kept reminding her of how special she was. It was all fun and games up until she went to college. In Yale, Rory was just a smart kid among many, and she really struggled to cope with this new reality. Everything culminated with the rejection she experienced from Mitcham Huntzberger, which resulted in her having an identity crisis, dropping out of Yale and even being arrested. This storyline highlighted the danger of sailing though developmental years without experiencing failure - because when failure finally found Rory, she lacked the resilience to cope.
We are always told how children need to be supported and praised. However, whilst encouragement is extremely important, nobody really speaks about how necessary it is for a kid to experience failure. Developmental years are not just for achieving; they’re also for struggling and learning to pick ourselves up. A gifted child who never face challenges, becomes an adult who crumble at the first sign of adversity.
Lesson 3. There is nothing wrong with asking for help
Throughout the series, Lorelai struggle to ask her parents for financial support, as she know this is going to come at a price. Whilst her concern are perfectly valid, her unwillingness to ask her parents for help often resulted in her working harder and not being able to provide Rory with everything that she needed. When Lorelai is able to swallow her pride, life turns out significantly better for her and for Rory.
Whilst dependence is valuable and something we admire in Lorelai, interdependence is where growth happens. Being able to recognise that we need people’s help to be able to fully shine, isn’t weakness - it’s wisdom.
Lesson 4. There’s s ton of growing up to do as an adult
Gilmore Girls beautifully portrays the reality that growth doesn't end at 18—or 30, or 50. Grown up characters experience profound personal evolution throughout the series. Luke discovers his capacity for fatherhood and vulnerability. Emily are Richard are able to reconsider their lifestyle and parenting for the love of Lorelai and Rory. Lorelai is the perfect example of the fact that you don’t have to have everything figured out before becoming a parent - she learns so much about career, relationships and herself throughout the series.
These characters remind us that there's no expiration date on personal development. Some of our most important growing happens well into adulthood, often when we least expect it.
Lesson 5. Never underestimate the importance of community
Stars Hollow itself might be the most enduring character in Gilmore Girls. This quirky town with its town meetings, seasonal festivals, and nosy but loving residents shows us the profound importance of community.
When Lorelai was a lonely teen mom, she found in Stars Hollow and its community a place where she could be accepted; a place to call home. Lorelai and Rory don't just have each other—they have a whole town supporting them through celebrations and crises. This community becomes family, providing the diverse perspectives and unconditional support that blood relatives sometimes can't.
In our increasingly isolated modern lives, Gilmore Girls reminds us to invest in our communities, whether they're geographic neighborhoods or chosen families. We need more than just our immediate circle to thrive.
Conclusion
Watching Gilmore Girls for the first time wasn't just entertaining—it was illuminating. I believe that shows that allow you to look into other people’s lives, can make us reflect on our own lives more than we think. In its own way, this 90s show about a mother and daughter in a quirky Connecticut town offered wisdom that feels surprisingly relevant to navigating the messiness of the real contemporary world.