5 Evidence-Based Steps to Overcome Perfectionism
If you think that your perfectionism is your superpower, then think again - you might be self-sabotaging. Research shows that perfectionism might undermine performance, well-being, and ability to achieve life goals. In this article, I will outline 5 evidence based steps to overcome perfectionism, so that you will be finally able to achieve your goals and live the life that you want. Because, as we will see, perfect is not the enemy of good, but is actually the enemy of perfect.
are you a perfectionist?
The first step to overcoming a problem, is to acknowledge it.
Therefore, the first thing that you need to do is to understand whether you actually are a perfectionist. When it comes to perfectionists, they would all present with similar characteristics, such as:
Struggling to meet your own impossibly high standards
Feeling frustrated, sad, anxious, or angry when falling short
Living in constant fear of failure
Overworking yourself to exhaustion
Procrastinating to avoid potential failure
Perfectionism typically manifests in two forms:
Self-oriented perfectionism: Setting unrealistically high standards for yourself
Other-directed perfectionism: Projecting impossible expectations onto others
Many perfectionists exhibit both types, creating challenges in both personal achievement and relationships.
Why Should I get rid of my perfectionism?
Perfectionism often prevents people from taking action towards their lives, as they would be constantly worried about making mistakes. Research from the University of Ottawa demonstrates that perfectionism was negatively correlated with achievement. In fact, what actually enhanced performance was excellence, thus setting a crucial distinction between these two approaches. Perfectionists set unrealistically ambitious goals and become harshly self-critical when they inevitably fall short. In contrast, excellence involves striving toward high but realistic standards in a determined yet flexible way.
The study found excellence strongly correlates with:
Academic improvement
Future achievements
Higher life satisfaction
Lower depression rates
Greater progress toward life goals
Meanwhile, perfectionism linked to declining achievement. People striving for excellence invested less time and effort yet achieved equal or better results than perfectionists.
Another reason why you should get rid of your perfectionism, is that it doesn't just hurt you—it impacts everyone around you. Perfectionism can, in fact, strain relationships when others can meet your impossible standards and it can make it difficult to others to connect with someone who is constantly self-critical.
Finally, perfectionism could impact your health, as it is associated with workaholism. In fact, perfectionism can increase your vulnerability anxiety, depression and burnout, as well as enhancing general dissatisfaction and unhappiness with life.
Five Evidence-Based Steps to Overcome Perfectionism
Step 1: Understand Its Origins
Understanding where your perfectionism come from is the first step to getting rid of it. Nobody is born a perfectionist. For many, perfectionism roots in childhood experiences. In fact, growing up with parents with extremely high standards, receiving love only for achievements and growing up fundamentally feeling “not enough” might be the root cause of many people’s perfectionism.
However, it is worth mentioning that we live in a society that puts a lot of value on performance and success. Our achievement-obsessed culture, with its emphasis on toxic productivity and competition, might induce perfectionism in someone with such tendencies.
Step 2: Consider the Big Picture
If you find that your perfectionism is getting in the way of your productivity, take some time to reflect on the actual impact of possible mistakes on your life. When you're fixated on delivering flawless work, ask yourself:
Will this matter in 10 minutes? (Maybe)
Will this matter in 10 weeks? (Probably not as much)
Will this matter in 10 years? (Almost certainly not)
But also consider, within the big picture, the consequences of your perfectionism. Reflect on what might be the impact of letting your perfectionism in the way, and you may find that actually the consequences of mistakes are much smaller in comparison. Remember: You can learn from mistakes, but you can't learn from inaction.
Step 3: Make Mistakes
Often perfectionist people would feel stuck due to the pear of making mistakes, so a solution to this would be to make deliberate ones. In psychology, we use behavioural experiments to help clients confront their fears directly. If you're terrified of making mistakes, intentionally make some and observe the results. Usually, the consequences of your mistake won’t be as catastrophic as you had imagined.
I used this approach in my own YouTube journey. My early videos had poor audio quality and I lacked confidence on camera—but posting that "imperfect" content was essential to my growth. Had I waited until everything was "perfect," I would have missed valuable learning opportunities and the confidence I've since developed.
Research supports this approach: In an experiment with 76 self-described perfectionist women, scientist C. Roden found that making intentional mistakes reduced both concern about errors and overall perfectionism. It would surprise you to know that the effects were also very fast - what this means is that intentional mistake could help you get rid of your perfectionism very quickly.
Step 4: Track Your Progress
What gets measured gets managed, and to make sure you are making consistent progress towards getting rid of perfectionism you need to track your behaviour. Think about conducting weekly reviews asking:
What did I avoid doing this week due to fear of mistakes?
When was my perfectionism counterproductive?
When did I make progresses taking action despite uncertainty?
You could also keep a log of actions you take everyday that challenge your perfectionist tendencies, as well as their outcomes. You'll likely find that most lead to progress rather than setbacks.
Step 5: Maintain Vigilance
Overcoming perfectionism is an ongoing journey, especially if your perfectionist tendencies have deep roots in your upbringing. Without consistent effort, you risk losing progress.
Regularly remind yourself: Perfect is the enemy of excellence. Continue challenging your perfectionism to achieve your goals and create the life you want.
conclusion
Breaking free from perfectionism isn't about lowering your standards—it's about setting realistic goals that allow you to take action, learn from mistakes, and continuously improve. By focusing on excellence rather than perfection, you'll not only achieve more but also experience greater satisfaction and well-being along the way.
Remember that overcoming perfectionism is a process. Be patient with yourself, celebrate your progress, and keep taking imperfect action toward your goals. Your future self will thank you.